WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
