I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
