omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Randomize
