how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
