Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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