i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
