I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
