My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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