Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
All I want is dick and wine.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
