Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
