If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
