Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
