u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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