ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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