have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
