I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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