The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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