I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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