For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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