Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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