Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
