so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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