There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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