Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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