You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
