I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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