Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize