just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
