i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
