some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
