i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i out mim tonsoeep
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
