I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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