She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
