wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
