She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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