sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
