These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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