Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
