thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
