the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
