Heybabeimwearingurpanties
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
