ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize