Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
