I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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