I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
