im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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