Jerry, you need to find god
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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