Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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