So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
