Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
