so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
