it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
