I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
