Swine flu. Run for my life!
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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