So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
