How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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