I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
