do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
