This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
