i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
