the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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