using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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