Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize